When I was five there was no way I was going to go to school. Why? Because I couldn’t read. Based on this philosophy it would stand to reason that I would study English at University, or attend an intensive writing course, before I attempted to write a book.
But: And they say ignore everything in front of the but, because what you’re really wanting to say is coming next and the information before was just a sneaky way to distract you.
But: I didn’t know I wanted to be a writer until I’d read almost 700 books in 2 years. I was driving in the car along the highway when I turned to my kids ( my head was rotated just a fraction actually – my eyes glued on the road ahead) and said, “I’m going to write a book for you.” And it hit me ( the idea, not a car – my eyes were glued on the road remember) that I wanted nothing more than to do this. I get teary thinking about it now. They still look at me and shrug when I talk about how they inspired the characters ( and I stop talking about it – because I get teary) but I know where they, and everyone else I love, fit into my creations.
So like a choose-your-own adventure book I had some options: go back to Uni and learn to write, or start writing this book and see where it takes me. If I knew the destination was insanity land I may have reconsidered option one.
But: If I don’t succeed you can bet I’ll be flipping back the pages and choosing option one, or tearing out the pages, or attacking it with a Sharpie to make my own ending.
Does that mean I should feel unwelcome in the aspiring authors club? I guess some will see it that way; I can’t change their minds. Even I tell myself twelve times a day (and thirteen times on Sundays) that I haven’t earned the right to write. I also tell myself every day to be more patient, twice as often, and that has no impact on my behaviour. So, for the sake of consistency, I trudge on.
This first post was meant to be about changing my perspective as I adapt from a reader to a writer. It’s coming. It’s next. *growls at next blog* ” You’re next, alright! Now hush.”
But: I felt I had to get this out first. Just like, I have this great character that I want to introduce to my series, but he just has to wait. It isn’t his time. Knowing how unhinged he is, I’m not looking forward to his reaction from being caged for over a year. This poor guy is going to have a rough run. ( see – ‘Love V’ in my next post for reasons why) My life isn’t easy, buddy, and neither will yours be.
So I’ll worry every day that I don’t deserve the same opportunities as those that chose option one above.
But: This is the path I have chosen and looking frantically over my shoulder and wondering if I should have chosen option one will increase the likelihood of me destroying my self esteem or walking into a pole. Both outcomes are painful; so although I may rotate my head back just a fraction, I will keep my eyes glued on the road ahead.