So, I didn’t meet my writing goal…

Today was meant to be  ‘manuscript submission’ day. Instead it’s the less exciting and unproductive ‘beat-yourself up’ day.

I thought I’d be relieved when I decided last night that my manuscript was too important to rush; that a heavy weight would be lifted. I could actually spend time with my kids and husband on their holidays.

I shrugged off that weight but felt a little light, so I went off in search of some heavier baggage to lug around. Self-loathing and failure are always happy to travel , so I picked them up and thought I’d carry them around for a few days. Everyone needs to get out now and again, right? Even people who don’t indicate when they drive deserve  happiness.

I’m thinking. Maybe it means I’m a strong person if I can admit when I’m not ready. I mean, it’s the strong person who walks away from a fight, it’s the strong person who asks for help, it’s the strong person who carries around a lot of luggage…

I knew when I was ready for beta readers. I loved every passage I wrote more than the last and it felt right. Why did I torture myself so much over this manuscript submission goal? It’s been eighteen months since I started writing. I’m reading to let go. This baby should be able to walk by now. And it’s screaming at me to the point where I want to turn and say,” Be gone, foul beast!”

It’s only a month and I know I won’t be missing this next deadline of mine. I’ll have emails saved as drafts, a manuscript that’s ready when I am, and a synopsis that doesn’t summon demons when it’s read.

And if I miss it? Pfft. Goals were meant to be broken. Hang on, that’s rules…

Anyone else been there?

 

 

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17 thoughts on “So, I didn’t meet my writing goal…

  1. Ugh, it sucks not to meet your own goals. And yeah, I carry that baggage around from time to time. I become my own punching bag. We have to give ourselves a break sometimes. We are our own worst critic! Big Hugs from one writer to another!

    • (thumbs up)

      Blowing the timeline is almost a badge, in my humble opinion. I think the best stories are those that tell themselves, and frankly, don’t care about the plans of the author – or the authoress 🙂

      Sometimes the directions on the box are wrong, and if you want a cake a gloopy mess, you leave it in until it’s done, aye?

      • Thanks 🙂 *puts on her new badge*. I think I felt that if I missed this deadline I was admitting that I wasn’t gutsy enough to go ahead. I know I ‘ll forge ahead and won’t be missing the next one !

    • Thank you so much for the hugs. I’ve always been so competitive and to give up when I was so close hit hard. I know next time..do not organise submissions while the kids are on holidays…

  2. The only demons we have are the ones of our own creation…. You are right luv…. Goals and rules are THERE to be broken lol

  3. Realistic goals are so important… Don’t be afraid to tell yourself “No I probably won’t make that deadline” very early on, and avoid this feeling.

    Turning in homework on time is never easy, but a true writer must get in the habit of realistic long-term goals and not riding on that temporary motivation of taking over the world. It’s nice to feel that way when inebriated or with supportive friends or whatever, but it just doesn’t last months later.

    Get into REALISTIC goal-planning…

    • You are right. About a month ago I started on my synopsis knowing that it needed to simmer. I was also waiting on beta read feedback. I think the roadblock was thinking I could start a blog and do all those things while working round kids and a husband who was away. It was bad goal planning. The next one is so doable there is no way I will miss it 🙂

  4. Well, I’d have this problem if I actually made goals and deadlines. Since I don’t, I never miss them 🙂 Of course, that’s not a very organized way to run things. My wife has finally gotten tired of my lack of planning and has sworn she’s going to help me make goals and deadlines. After I do, I might find myself in your shoes, but let’s hope not 🙂

  5. I think you made the right choice. If you decided it wasn’t ready and it will be better if given another months worth of work, so be it! At least you can release something that you are truly happy with. You definitely shouldn’t be disappointed in yourself x

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