Too anxious to succeed?

Pushing yourself to do something you aren’t used to – are you anxious, nervous, frightened or my personal favourite – comfortable?

Whichever way you spin it, you don’t want to do it.

There’s a reason it’s called a comfort zone. Generally any concept palatable for the greater good is well received. I mean, it’s win-win. If I’m comfortable, you’re comfortable. You leave me be here, I let you leave with your eyes attached to your face: win-win.

I’ve never really connected with the cowardly lion from Wizard of Oz. He was always my least favourite.  Maybe it’s because people don’t like to be up close and personal with those that remind them of themselves? Maybe it’s the curls? I certainly didn’t like his voice. Mine? Much more growly and assured – but certainly as whiny. And at the moment, with my writing future up in the air, I’m the Fizzer from Oz. So, I’m dramatic; I always have been. Hear me roar!

Now see me cower. I knew it would always come to this. It would be way too easy to be able to sit here in my butt-grooved seat to continue my career. And if it’s too easy, generally you still have something to learn.

I don’t know if I have it in me to make myself physically visible to the literary industry: writing conferences, writing groups, seminars, festivals – pitching to people’s faces! Are they interested in marketing the contents of my stomach? I think not, so I’ll abstain for now. And if you think that means that I don’t deserve to have a writing career? I don’t have the drive to succeed in this industry? I’m too anxious to succeed? Then I say, ‘Thank you. You can leave with your eyes attached.’

But I am going to try. Baby steps. I’m going to attend a local writer’s seminar, closely followed by a marathon run from the room afterwards in case I have to talk to people. Fitness and writing. I did tell you there was a correlation a few blogs ago – and I do like to be right.

I shall leave you with a clip from one of the best comedies from the nineties ‘What About Bob.’

Baby steps to the garage door.

Baby steps to the car.

Baby steps from the car to the seminar.

Hulking, hurried strides from the seminar to the car